Posted by: sweeneyblog | April 1, 2015

5 Bellingham Art Pieces that Make No Sense

Note: This was a satirical post for April Fool’s Day. 

It is time to come clean, we have some weird public art in Bellingham. Any tourist will tell you they are completely baffled by some of the public sculptures that adorn our streets. Here’s FIVE examples of just how weird our public art is.

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1. That spinny globe thing in front of the WTA Bus Station

Seriously, did we rob the Daily Planet in Metropolis of their building decoration? What the heck is going on with that thing? Maybe it was just a hood ornament on a very very large car. Either way, I think if it spins fast enough, you can send a very tiny Jodie Foster into outer space to meet her dad.

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2. The giant man-eating Salmon Mural

There you are, peacefully just walking downtown then OH GOD, THAT GIANT SALMON IS GOING TO EAT ME! What the heck?!  Yes, we really do need a two story picture of a salmon downtown to scare little children who like to eat fish. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE BAGEL SPREAD NOW?!

download (1)3. Dirty Dan Harris stole my wallet

All I’m saying is when I sat on the bench, I had my wallet but when I left, it was gone. If I find him at that Steakhouse eating on my dime, well, let’s just say I’ve got a smelting pot with his name on it.

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4. Man Humping Bear Statue may actually cause injuries

Yes, everyone knows that WWU has a statue of a man with a bear on his lap with both of their heads thrown back in that ecstasy akin to downing the first sip of that delicious latte. What they don’t know is the Student Health center at WWU regularly treats patients who have fallen off this statue trying to take a selfie with the man and the bear at the same time. It doesn’t work, they are too far apart. Unless you have a selfie stick.

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5. Giant Glowing Something on Holly Street

Seriously, what the heck is it?! Is it a giant google maps pin made real? Is it a microphone (a nod to the SPARK Museum just down the street) or maybe it is some alien spike, sent to monitor all communications inside Bayou on the Bay (a well known meeting place for all extraterrestrial activity). Either way, the Mayor needs to put a task force on this right away.

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Responses

  1. Re: #4 – Thanks for the laugh. Really needed that this morning.

    • Yes, Wayne, Happy April Fool’s Day…

  2. Nice new format, PJ

  3. Shouldn’t smoke broken chair rungs on April Fool’s day.

  4. Okay Riley…. Have you have stepped into yet…. another arena…. art critic…?. you need to look for VALUE!!!! in everything (except politics)… there is value… take the laughing bear/man activity…. seriously…. there is value there…..I mean really…. they are howling at the moon….. that spinny globey thangy…. pure value!! Its an easy way to direct visitors to the bus station…….value!!! The magic septer wand thingy….. value for all who have to cross Holly at 5:10pm……and of course the salmon with the guy inside…. this clarifys the JOB story… it was really a salmon…. you see…. Value!!! oh and the dirty dan pervert statue… well…. nuff said…. stick to politics where you get things right/wrong most of the time… but here in the art world… look for the Value!!!

  5. If art moves you enough to ridicule it,
    it’s done the only job it was designed to do.
    But you’re right that a life-sized statue of a man on a bench
    just inflames the Mayor’s cops
    that have tried dozens of times
    to get it to move on,
    under threat of arrest and booking for a stay at Elfo’s No Travel Lodge of Pain.

  6. Let me suggest some art that WOULD make sense for Bellingham and Bellinghamsters: https://www.facebook.com/BuildTheHamsterWheel

  7. It is a cougar not a bear. The man used to hunt them.


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